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| Feeling at home in a new area can take time and effort. |
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New Horizons
Scan the T.V. guide and you’ll see back to back property programmes, offering hours of practical advice on how to buy, sell and renovate a property. But what the TV doesn't tend to focus on is the emotional effect of moving to a new house.
Yes, we all know it is one of the most stressful things you'll ever do in your life and your life goes cascading off in a turmoil from the moment you say 'hello' to the estate agent, but what about when the excitement is over and the quiet realisation of your move begins to hit?
Just moving a few streets away can mean you settle in quite quickly, and your life doesn't have to undergo a total re-fit. Moving to a new area however can be very different and can quickly lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. It can take time to rebalance again and find yourself a new life.
Remember, above all the key is to get out there. Give it time and energy and slowly your new life will emerge. Don’t expect too much too soon or you are likely to be disappointed. It can take most people up to 2 years to feel settled in a new area.
Making new friends as an adult is a lot harder than when you were a 6 year old in the playground. Back then sharing your skipping rope or engaging in a kickabout with a football would have secured you a 'best friend' for at least a week. The key as an adult is to get to know lots of people a little bit rather than latching on to 1 or 2 people expecting them to be your best friends. Remember, other people’s lives may already be pretty set. Don’t get upset or take it personally if the new people in your life can’t give you the time you need from them.
If you have school age children, you may find that the other mums have already formed their own little groups, but that doesn’t mean you can't say hello. A smile and a quick hello can go a long way and help people to feel that you are approachable without being desperate.
Starting up conversation with a stranger is easier if you focus on common ground. Approach another mum at the school with a question about term dates or a school rule you are unsure about, or if it’s a course you are doing ask a fellow student something relating to the course you are doing. Asking a question, (whether you need to know the answer or not), can make approaching others more acceptable.
Your local area may take time to get to know. Get yourself a map and get out there! Try not to drive everywhere. Going for a walk will mean you are more likely to meet other people and discover new and interesting places. Make sure you get out every day. It’s very easy to shut yourself away, but the less you go out, the less you will want to. Be proactive and remember, don't expect to have your new life sorted straight away.
If you do start to feel depressed, speak to someone about it – your partner, a relative or a healthcare professional such as your GP. Sometimes just telling someone how you’re feeling can help.
Some tips to help you settle in to a new area
• Visit your local library – They will usually have a notice board or folder of local clubs, societies and events. They may also hold story time events to take young children to.
• Look in your local paper – This will help you to familiarise yourself with your local area, as well as finding out about local events
• Look in shop windows – Again, these often show adverts or posters for local events and resources.
• If you are pregnant or have children, join your local NCT (National Childbirth Trust) - They are a wonderful source of support and often hold regular events.
• Get a copy of your local college prospectus – Regular classes will help you to meet the same people each week.
• Visit your local Sport Centre – Find out about local events and classes.
• Visit your local playground if you have young children and get chatting!
• If you time on your hands, a few hours a week of voluntary work can help you feel part of the community as well as giving you the chance to meet new people.
Building your new life can take time. It won’t come knocking on your door so get out there and find it!
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